Autism Speaks Canada is entering a team in the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon. This is a special post by runner and blogger Run Luau Run about why he runs for Autism Speaks. All Autism Speaks Team Members will receive ree registration, a team Autism Speaks performance running shirt , automatic entry to draws for fantastic prizes , Marathon Warm-Up Pep Rally Party and Post-Run Party. To access your free registration fee, please contact Suzanne Lanthier at slanthier@autismspeaks.org to receive log in information.
Last October I had the privilege of running the New York City Marathon for Autism Speaks.
I have always found that the Autism community is, for the most part, a fairly supportive one. I have never seen the rolling eyes, or heard the disinterested grunts when I tell another member of the Autism community about my little girl Brooke. Parents of children with Autism simply get it. Theyunderstand why I am so excited when Brooke calls for my attention to show me something, grabs myhand just to hold it or asks to talk to Grammy on the phone. These are big, special moments.
I have also found the running community to be a very friendly, supportive one. Again, it’s a groupthat will listen intently as I go over my training schedule or give a mile by mile account of mystruggles through the Boston Marathon. They just get it.
What better way to combine two things I feel so passionately about than to run the New York CityMarathon under the Autism Speaks banner.
It was, to say the least, an incredible, uplifting experience.
***
So why run a marathon for Autism Speaks?
New York City was my 5th marathon, but it was the first that I ran representing a charity.
My daughter, Brooke, has autism. She was diagnosed nearly 5 years ago and when my wife and I were told the news, there was very little support out there. In the time since then, the tools andresources available to families with new diagnoses has come a very long way. Part of that is due in large part to the efforts of Autism Speaks.
They have been a tireless advocate of awareness, something both the wife and I strongly believe in.
In an ignorant world, my daughter would have been called a brat, or willful child, or worse, stupid. In an ignorant world she would have been constantly punished for behavior that she is unable to control without assistance. In an ignorant world, my daughter may well have been looked upon with disapproval and judgment from both teachers and peers. Thanks in part to the efforts of AutismSpeaks and charities like it, my daughter does not live in a world of ignorance. We may not be where we need to be yet, but we are on our way.
With awareness comes understanding which can eventually lead to compassion. I have been amazed how people have responded to my little Brooke once they know what she has to deal with on a dailybasis. Once they understand that a room full of talking children can literally be a painful assault on her ears, or that trying to follow what a teacher is saying in class can be as if you were trying to understand a lecture on economics by a professor who spoke 4 out of 5 words in a language you didn’t understand, or that a simple, repetitive sound that you or I simply block out as white noise becomes an itch that she cannot possibly hope to scratch; once people understand this, their awareness quickly turns to compassion. People start looking out for Brooke because they know that in the end, she is just like any one of us, just a little different on how she perceives the world.
I believe that the more people I can make aware of autism and its effects on both those who have it and their families, the better the world will be when my little girl grows up. The wife and I have, from a very early point, been fairly public about autism, Brooke and our family. Not everyone chooses to“come out” if you will, and I have grown to accept and even understand that. By the same token, I feel that as long as autism is kept in a dark corner, hidden away as something to be ashamed of, then ignorance, fear and cruelty will continue to exist and grow.
Running for awareness.
And so I ran (and will run again!!!) with Autism Speaks. That November I ran to help push the boundaries of awareness. I talked to anyone who asked about the lows and highs (yes, highs) of having a child on the autism spectrum. I encouraged people to speak loud and speak proud of their children or themselves. I reminded parents that no victory is too small to cheer and that no defeat is too large to throw in the towel.
Autism Speaks is a charity I respect and have a passion for. They do so much and work so hard to make the world a better place for my Brooke, for both today and tomorrow. But it’s not just my Brooklet that they are helping. Everyday a new family is devastated with the news that someone in their family, whether they are 3, 13 or 23 years old, has been diagnosed with autism. I have had many friends (too many friends) come to me over the years asking questions and expressing concerns about their own children. With resources like the First 100 Days Kit, these families are now able to find the tools to help ease that initial pain and start moving in a positive direction.
By running YOU can help me help my little Brooke and all the families out there affected by autism.
Much of the funds that Autism Speaks raises goes to research, but a portion of it also goes directly to grants that are reviewed by the parents of children with autism. They make an effort to make sure that the funds they distribute can benefit many of us directly. Autism Speaks is truly working to make the world a better place both today AND tomorrow.
Maybe you have done the Walk for several years now – well, now it’s time to Run.
***
So how did my race go?

As I stood, shivering in the starting area, I tried to visualize my journey before me. My plan was to break the race into 5 mile segments. I knew in my head that no matter how I felt, I could run 5 miles. In my head I told myself the moment I take that first step in each 5 mile segment, I was now down to4+ miles. I was sure it would work. My plan was to attempt 37 minute splits.
Although I had never run New York, I tried to imagine myself taking a Gu and a swig of hydration at the designated spots. I saw myself crossing the finish line in Central Park. The clock read 3:16, which was fine, because I was about a minute back from the starting line.
After the introductions of the elite runners, the gun went off, and we were OFF! waited for the waveto make it’s way back to corral 12. I took one last look around for a friend who was supposed to be in the same corral, hoping to find a running partner, but to no avail. The sea of people began to surge forward and as we crossed the starting line, I hit my watch and we broke into a jog and then a run. My New York City Marathon had officially started.
People had warned me about the mass of humanity that I would be part of. I thought having run Boston from the very back that I already had a grasp of what that meant. As I began to climb the Varranzano-Narrows Bridge, I realized just how wrong I was.

The view of people ahead of me and behind me was almost overwhelming. Reaching the peak of the bridge, I looked out over the water at Manhattan. Having lived there in the late 90′s, I felt a tinge of sadness. Even today, almost a decade after 9/11, I still expect to see the Twin Towers standing there. I said a quiet prayer for those who lost their lives and loved ones that day and moved on.
As I passed the first mile marker, I took a look at my watch – 8:14. A nice, slow start. Unfortunately the second mile was downhill and gravity did it’s thing. Coming off the bridge I hit mile 2 in a too fast 6:43.
Too fast! I thought. But then I reconsidered, thinking that I was now on target for sub-7:30 miles.
Shortly thereafter we got our first dose of the crowds. The cheering was absolutely amazing. The next 3 miles went quite smoothly. I hit the 5 mile marker at 36:02…a little ahead of schedule, but I felt good. Real good! Too good.
I pulled out a Gu.
***
Now here’s the thing. I am a huge fan of NRG’s Honey Stingers. I am convinced that they helped propel me to my BQ (Boston Qualifying time) at the Smuttynose Marathon 5 weeks earlier. Before traveling down to New York, I decided to defer picking up my Stingers until I got to New York. I assumed the local running shop would carry my brand. They did…just not in the original flavor I was looking for. My choice was banana and chocolate. I settled on a mix. But what could go wrong, right? They were Honey Stingers (Gu’s)!
***
As I passed mile 5, I pulled out my Gu, tore off the top, sucked the the honey and washed it down.
It.
Was.
Awful.
I grimaced and washed it down with another swig of water.
Much better.
That is until a mile later. At mile 6, it started mildly. Small tiny waves brushing on the shore. But with every passing minute, the waves of nausea became bigger and bigger. They were soon crashing down on me. I tried to stay focused on putting one foot in front of the other, but I could feel myself starting to fade. Somewhere in the next mile or so I had to stop at a port-a-potty. I didn’t feel good.
44 seconds later, I was back on the road.
At mile 8 the three starting groups (for the uninitiated, the New York City Marathon starts in three waves, each wave broken down into three separate starting areas that run their own routes for the first8 miles) came together. The crowds and runners became more congested.
Mile 10 was coming. The nausea wasn’t going away, but I knew I needed to take another Gu. I tried to psych myself up for taking in sugar, but the closer I got to 10, the sicker I felt. Mile 10 came and went, and I decided to push the Gu off until mile 15. I took a swig of my water, but even that was now making me sick. At the next garbage can, I chucked my bottle. I looked at mile split – 73:35 – that was a 37:33 split. Despite the urge to hurl for the last 4 miles, I was still on target.
I slowed down a touch, trying to give my body the opportunity to re-group. After about 10 minutes I started to feel somewhat normal. No longer feeling green, I pressed a little to make up for lost time. As we crossed the half-way mark I looked at my watch. 1:37:19. Sub-3:15 pace!!!
Ok! I can do this!
Just after the half, I spotted a friend. I ran over, gave her a hug.
Looming in the distance was the Queensboro Bridge. I took a deep breath. I was going to take the ascent slowly and let gravity do it’s thing on the back side. Passing mile 15, I realized that I needed to take in some nutrition. The very thought of taking a Banana Gu brought back a wave of nausea. I
decided to wait just a little longer.
I took a look at my watch – 1:52:20 – a 38:45 split. Still within striking range.
As we began to climb the bridge, I was surprised to hear music. Led Zepplin’s Kashmir began pounding through my earbuds. I had somehow forgotten that I was listening to music. The bands and crowds are so loud along the course that unless you have your music pumped up all the way(something I do NOT advocate), it is completely drowned out.
But on the bridge there were no fans, no bands, no sounds save the quiet pounding of running shoes on the asphalt. Robert Plant wailed away in my ears. I couldn’t help but smile. For some reason, it felt like the perfect song for the moment. Reaching the peak of the bridge, I forced myself to take another Gu. The thick honey was so unappetizing to me that after forcing half of it down, I spit out the rest. My level of nausea kicked right back up.
I had been told that I would hear the cheering in Manhattan long before I came off of the bridge, and Idid. Momentarily I was uplifted. Coming off of the bridge, I race over to the crowd and high-fived a number of kids.
The high was good enough to keep me going for a couple of miles, but I knew I was starting to payfor the lack of carbs I was putting in. At this point I realized I needed to put some kind of sugar intomy body, so I decided to start drinking Gatorade at each water station.
I never drink Gatorade.
Ever.
Through 18 miles I had manage to keep my mile splits under 7:50. I was still averaging under 7:30 per mile. Mile 19 came in at 7:57. I wouldn’t see another 7-handle the rest of the way. As I entered the Boogie Down Bronx, almost on the nose at mile 20 I nearly doubled over from pain in mystomach.
Stomach cramps? Really? My lack of drinking Gatorade while training was coming back to haunt me.
I had never suffered from stomach cramps in a race. These were sharp and painful. I knew that my game plan had to change. Even as I had approached mile 20, I had been thinking that a PR was still apossibility despite the ongoing nausea. I had fought through it for 19 miles. I knew I could fight through it for another 7.
But this was different. I went into survival mode. I just needed to keep moving. Time was no longer the goal – finishing was.
We weren’t in the Bronx long, quickly returning to Manhattan and Fifth Avenue. I’m not sure how it is physically possible, but it felt like both going up First Avenue and going down Fifth Avenue were both uphill. Is that possible? It sure felt that way. The stomach cramps weren’t going away, but I felt like I could make it through to the finish…that is until somewhere before mile 22 when I felt a twinge in my quads.
Deja vu!
My mind flashed to mile 20 of the Manchester City Marathon when my quads froze, leaving me with my legs planted to the ground like tree trunks for 10 minutes, unable to move.
The twinge became more intense. I could feel both quads tightening up. This is NOT good! As I passed mile 22 I thought about quitting.
I was in official death-march-mode.
Is it worth trying to get to the end? I’m nauseous, my stomach has sharp pain and now my quads are seizing up. Maybe I should walk. Maybe I should stop.
But something kicked in. I knew that the Team Up with Autism Speaks cheering section was just a mile away. Autism Speaks, the families that battle autism every day and all those whohad helped me raise nearly $3,500 had brought me to New York. I couldn’t let them down. I looked down at my singlet. “Run Luau Run” it said right above the Team Up with Autism Speaks logo. I thought of Brooke. I thought of my friend Greg and his son. I thought of my friend Sheila and her son. I thought of Jersey Jenn and her family….and Judith…andDrama…and Gaby…so many families…
No. Walking was not a choice. Stopping was not an option. I wasn’t running for me.
Each stride brought a shot of pain in each leg. I looked up to see a sign: Pain is temporary. Pride is forever! followed by Your Feet Hurt Because You’re Kickin’ Ass!!! Two better placed signs I could not have asked for.
I caught the Autism Speaks cheering section by surprise (they were still setting up) and soldiered oninto Central Park.
Now, I love a good set of rolling hills as much as the next guy, BUT after 23+ miles? Oh my frakking God!!! The uphills simply brought a more intense pain to my quads, and the moment I began going down the hills, my hamstrings decided to join the party.
Gee! Thanks Hammies! I’m glad you could make it to the Pain Party!
Up and down. Up and down. But as intense as the pain was, I knew I had less than 5K to go.
Somewhere around 24, something made me look left. There was my sister! A sight for sore eyes! I ran over to her and gave her a hug. A big part of me wanted to stop right there and call it quits, but I knew I couldn’t.
A hundred yards later, I spotted my mother-in-law (Grammy) and her husband (Grandpa DD). I tried to put on a brave face.

“Gotta keep moving…I think the finish line is this way” (photo courtesy of Grandpa DD)

“Maybe if I flap my arms, my legs won’t have to work so hard!” -courtesy of Grandpa DD
I had nothing left. My body was working on sheer muscle memory. At this point, my hair could’ve been on fire, and it wouldn’t have mattered.
We exited the Park and ran along Central Park South. I knew that we needed to go back into the Park at some point, but it felt like it was taking forever. Finally, as we approached Central Park West, we cut into the Park for the last 400 or so meters. This was the final test of the New York City Marathon,because this very last portion was painfully uphill.
Really!?!
Usually I have a kick at the end of these races. Heck, I even had one at Manchester for the last few hundred yards, but on this day I would have to be satisfied with just keeping a steady pace. There would be no passing people at the very end. No triumphant sprint across the finish line.
I looked at my watch – 3:26:31.
I mustered a smile. Despite everything, I had managed my second best marathon time. Ever!
I didn’t hit 3:15.
I didn’t PR.
But I have to say, that in many ways, I am more proud of what I did on that day than of my BQ time at Smuttynose. New York pushed me past what I thought was my limit. I could have quit. Heck, maybe I even should have quit, but I didn’t. Because I was running for something greater than me – I was running for my Brooke, I was running for every family that is affected byAutism on a daily basis.
Yes, pain is temporary and pride is forever.
I wandered out through the bag pick up section, briefly checking into medical, probably leaving before I should have, woozy but proud.

How I felt through much of the race.
I found my family, thanked them for coming.

Me and my sister (who took care of me after the race!)

Me and my Mother-in-Law
We made our way back across the park to cheer in other Autism Speaks runners.

Hanging out at the Autism Speaks cheering section, cheering other runners in
So what did I learn in New York? At least four things (though I’m sure others will reveal themselves):
1. Don’t mess with your nutrition. Last minute changes to what you put in your body can really mess you up.
2. Train for the terrain. Truth is, I spent the summer training on very flat roads in anticipation of theSmuttynose Marathon, which is billed as the flattest marathon in New England. That was great for Smuttynose as I cruised to a BQ, but not so much for New York with it’s bridges, slow, long climbs and rolling hills in Central Park.
3. Running with someone makes a huge difference. At Smuttynose I was blessed to be able to run with a friend for nearly 15 miles and then with some strangers for another 7 or 8 or so. I ran New York without a partner and I’m pretty sure it didn’t help.
4. No matter how good you feel, if you’ve been targeting averaging 7:24 per mile, it’s not wise to run a 6:43 in the second mile.
***
The point of all of this is not to scare you from running Toronto for Autism Speaks – it is, in fact, to show you that when you put that singlet on that say Team Up with Autism Speaks, you are given a strength, a resource that you can draw upon to get you through the entire 26.2 miles. Had I not been running with Autism Speaks, I would not have finished.